nice food....

[dwivian]

Did a sushi dinner. Good thing. Soup, not so good. Must remember to stick with Miso there. Had the famous author elorie there, with her administrative distractant thewonderboy keeping conversation flowing. Nice work, too.

I still do something I hate, which is called (according to my conversational therapist) 'personal validation'. This is when someone is telling an event of their own lives, and you interrupt them to say "I've had something Just Like That" and then insert an event synopsis that validates their story. It, to a degree, insinuates that the original storyteller needed that validation in order to be taken seriously, and is not the most polite of actions.

I am trying to pay more attention to that. Some stories need to stand on their own, as an example of the storyteller's life. People don't need my validation. They do need my sushi budget, however....

Comments

[beachsomewhere.livejournal.com]

This is when someone is telling an event of their own lives, and you interrupt them to say "I've had something Just Like That" and then insert an event synopsis that validates their story.

I do this all the time. Why, just the other day...

[dwivian]

You don't say? The Other Day? I had an Other Day once, it was...

[thegreyman.livejournal.com]

Hey Thanks! It's nice to have a name to put on that particular bad habit of mine. See, look, I'm doing it right now!

[dwivian]

Not so much, actually. You're just accepting awareness of something. That's different from the complete derailing of a discussion, of which you are aware if you know you do it. Just like that awareness you get when you watch people sitting in a restaurant, still getting to know each other, and you are aware of what that awkwardness is like. Only, different.

Multitasking.

[avivasedai.livejournal.com]

I've learned, when those associated stories pop up in my head, listen to the flow of their story and see if it's obvious they need to get it out. If too long passes between the story popping into my head and their next pause for breath, I let it go. I do, however, replay the story in my head. They can't see that half my attention is on my own story, that I'm not sharing. *grin*

~/ Now she's in me, always with me,
Tiny storyteller in my head... ~/